Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
