Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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