You just made me feel so damn special
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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