people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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