remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
