I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What a dumb baby whore.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
