Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
