She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
