I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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