He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
