the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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