So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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