Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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