if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
