I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize