Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I love you. Go after that dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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