what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
