i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
