I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
