I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
