I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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