just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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