Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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