this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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