no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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