We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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