i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Randomize
