did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
