Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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