these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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