Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
