I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
