What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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