remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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