My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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