you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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