possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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