Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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