We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
