Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
