so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
