So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
