your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
