This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
