the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
