there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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