did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
