I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
