Can Purell be used as lube?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
