The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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