We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
