Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
