Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
