I am in a vortex of obligation.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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