Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
