Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I supernannyed him into submission
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
