Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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