Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
