If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize