apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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