You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
